Um, added a new beginning which I hope it effective because I need it to help fix this novel ending. One of the things I've thought about was Pam's family and I thought maybe she needed to talk about someone she had or still talked to from her life before and I thought of her brother which he comes in again, very fair from now. It's better if I mention him now. Again cleaned up that conversation near the end and hopefully I got the narration the way I want it as if she is telling this to you as if she is sharing a story so most of my begins will change for those that indicate a chapter start. So many seem to start the same.
My attempt at a clean-up. End conversation straightened up. Still feels as if he said to much. I think maybe Andy thinks he has said to much. I don't even know if it is too much. Yes Pam is talking to her fish. Is her new obsession disturbs me a little but , it isn't like she is stalking Andy. I guess her reasoning is sound. Well to her at least.
We have now properly introduced Mr. Andrew Kennith Perkins and the start of why Pam is so mystified with him. Yes I do realize that I haven't straight up mentioned her name yet or provided any physical description of her...or have I?
The problem with 1st person there is no good place to physically describe character who is talking without making it obvious that I have take my time out of story to write it. Same with a name. I could have had Andy say her name as they conversed but, he kind of started the conversation randomly.
Also, Andy is a bit chatty, I mean he was when I first introduced him and I don't know if I went too far with it. I don't know if I should have hold off a little bit on what he told Pam or what. I mean there is a lot more. That is just the bare bones of his past. Being introverted and shy myself, I've trouble gauging how chatty is too chatty or is that a personal thing?
Also setting. I feel I have to mention this. I didn't write this with a city in mind. I didn't feel as if it was important. I still don't have a city in mind and I don't plan on it. I figured that everyone can just sort of imagine their home. It's easier for me. I had enough trouble with modern fantasy version of Attached taking place in North Carolina near Charlotte in a town that doesn't exist. All I know this one, doesn't take place in any major city so cross out New York and definitely not in California. Despite what Hollywood makes the world think. Not everyone lives in California and New York or Chicago, though that seems like a lovely place.
This story takes place in North Carolina. Where, I've no idea.
Pt 2--->You're here